Odium et Caritas

It seems to me that when the Beatles sang "All you need is love," and Jackie DeShannon sang "What the world needs now is love" they were correct. How much hate is there in the world? How much fighting and bickering?
Recently, I've attracted more attention than I should because of my baptism and a letter to school newspaper about why we should invite Obama to the campus. The responses I've received have been diverse. Some people have praised what I've said. Others have condemned it. Others yet, have taken what I've said and contorted my words to make me say things that I have never said.
There are two interactions I have had with people that have had strong impacts on me personally. The first was an interaction on the Indy Star blog with a man who goes by the moniker "Roymondo." He exhibited a lot of anger and hostility to my conversion to Catholicism. Every chance he got, he tried to enlighten the world with what he thought to be the true reason why I converted. I was personally offended, but mostly I felt sad for him not being able to understand that I would truly convert out of a genuine movement of mysoul.
The second was with a friend of mine whom I shall call Steve for the sake of this post. He personally contacted me after reading my Observer post. He didn't respond with a whitty letter to the editor explaining why I loved abortion and hated God or anything of that nature. Rather, he advised me on staying true to the tenets of Catholicism and exercising obedience to the council of the bishops. After each message to me, he concluded with "With love" or "In the love of Christ." He never condemned me nor did he tell me that I was completely wrong. But he did warn me and tried to guide me.
The example of Steve is an example to me of truly Christ-like love. Roymondo's example is the opposite. There tends to be a fine line between Christ-like admonition and self-righteous condemnation. Sometimes the difference is obvious to those outside, though. Nobody on the Notre Dame campus views the actions of Randall Terry and the Center for BioEthics to be in Christ-like love. But to think that there are no people protesting Obama's invitation here who have no love in their intention is not only false, but an affront to those who respectfully and graciously demonstrate their feelings.
The real question we must ask is this: How do we show our distaste for something without exuding a condemnatory attitude? How can we respectfully display our disagreement? How do we know which battles are worth fighting?
I would suggest that Christ's counsel here is very applicable "Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison." (Matthew 5:25)